Today is Left-Hander's Day. It feels good to be on top for a day. 364 days a year it is Right-Hander's Day, but today, all of you are second-rate citizens. Just like us lefties...364 days a year. Do you know how many accidents happen a year because tools are made with Right-Handed users in mind? Lots! Just the other day they discovered that the same gene that makes you left-handed, makes you schizophrenic. How's that for oppression? Genetically oppressed by stupid Nature and stupid science. There are all kinds of references, specifically Biblical, that displays, in no uncertain terms, that being to the left of anyone is about the most evilest place you could be. The right side however...But I understand your reasons for all the oppression. Honestly. You were just scared that while shaking our hands, we'd stab you. That's a legitimate concern.
The day is ours!