Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Illusionist

Totally sucked. A dumb movie, with a 12 on the 1-10 Cheese Factor Scale (more cheese than Swissconsin). The script was horrible. Neil Berger adapted the script from the novel then directed it, so there's a point to Rockel's "writer/director sux0rz" sentiment. Some neat camera work, sub-par acting by everyone save Rufus Sewell who was pretty good at being a prick, but I don't imagine that was too hard for him. His mustache was obviously fake. Jessica Biel wasn't nearly hot enough for me to care, and her love scene, while filmed nicely, did not show nearly enough. And Edward Norton didn't do anything!! Not a thing! Why was he in that film!? Why do you pay him to do nothing but hold out his hands. He has hardly any lines and every time he speaks I'm trying to figure out why he has that ridiculous facial hair because I'm certainly not paying any attention to his lines when he delivers them with that ridiculous accent. Facial hair was the most prevalent theme in the film -- An Austrian Guide to Poor Facial Hair. Do you know how predictable that film was?! I mean it was so obvious that she (spoiler removed)! I knew she would (spoiler removed) and that he wouldn't (spoiler removed) and that he would deliver the (spoiler removed) to the inspector. I mean for a movie about magic, there was absolutely no mystery! wtf?! If you're making a film about illusions, why wouldn't you make them believable? Like in The Prestige, they did several illusions with no camera cuts or special effects. They actually said during several interviews that they wanted to use as little special effects as possible (specifically said about the field of light bulbs on the mountain filmed without gimmicks or smoke machines). They made you want to believe. The Illusionist, on the other hand, just wanted to Suck. Just a dumb, cheesy, poorly-acted, predictable film.

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