Thursday, March 30, 2006

YOUR MOM GOES TO COLLEGE!!

Now, you and I both know that this is the ultimate, super-awesome, "you got totally burned," cut-down ever to be invented in the history of the dozens.

But it's time to take this a step further. Just like "your mom" evolved into "your mom is so fat/ugly/stinky/nasty/furry" etc. we must expand the "your mom goes to college" insult to epic social proportions.

With that said, I'm starting a totally awesome contest. Grand Prize is a personalized congratulatory blog entry all about you with your name in the title. That's right, your name, in the title bar, of THE COBRA's blog. Thanks me later.

Here's the contest:

Come up with the sweetest "your mom goes to college" joke.

That's it.

Here's a few that so rock and don't count for the contest. Otherwise, I would have already won.

I totally saw your mom filling out a FAFSA yesterday.

Did your mom get that scholarship?

I just saw your mom buying a scantron from the bookstore.

So there are some examples. Hit me with your best shot and good luck to all!!!

Friday, March 24, 2006

A Pretty Lady in Spain




This is my girlfriend!! She's a beautiful woman spending three months in Spain. Her blog is atop the list of endorsees. Please visit her blog (and all the others on my list) as she has had many splendiferous adventures already. She would love to hear from people in America and I believe much of her experience will provide an excellent forum for discussion on the trade of culture in an increasingly global economy.....it's the subject of my latest literary venture.

Mis Aventuras




I miss my pretty lady...

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Free-dumb of Religion

I love how America marches into other countries and topples their government, installs their own, then builds oil pipelines for the Vice President's former Corporation (that's Halliburton). I'm talking about Afghanistan. The Taliban was an oppressive, murderous form of government that harbored terrorists (I'm being serious). So, toppling that regime wasn't sooooo bad. I'm just a little bitter that they lied about why they did it.

Alot of people have forgotten about Afghanistan but this article brought a very strong reminder to me.

I can't believe that we totally overthrew their government on the basis that it was an oppressive theocracy, then allowed them to write a contradictory constitution that claims to allow freedom of religion while at the same time making conversion from Islam to any other religion a capital offense. This guy has one defense: that he is mad. Otherwise, they'll kill him because he loves Jesus.

Let's chalk up another notch for the War on Terror and the spread of democracy in the Middle East.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

An Intelligence Issue

"Budget constraints are forcing some FBI agents to operate without e-mail accounts, according to the agency's top official in New York." -- Source

Wasn't intelligence a serious issue with (the lack of) prevention for 9/11? So, wouldn't it be intelligent to support intelligence? And by support, I mean allow them to communicate more efficiently. Maybe we should invent some sort of agency that can help us with our intelligence....

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Gitmo

Check this article out.

Now, I realize you guys don't like polls. You made that quite evident a few days ago. But let me ask this:

Should the United States shut down Guantanamo Bay? I think they should. It is in my opinion that nothing of any substantive worth is taking place down there except the torture and imprisonment of individuals who are being denied basic human rights, up to and including the unalienable stuff our own nation was built on.

Now, the EU is stepping up to the plate, calling for Gitmo to be shut down as well. The U.N. has been very vocal in the past few months in their push for the prison's termination.

Whatcha got fo'ks?

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Eric Said So

Oscar night 2006 arrived during the season of Lent much to my chagrin. I am an overwhelmingly huge fan of the Stewart, Jon and, ever so slightly less, the Academy. I visited the vastly booming metropolis of Atlanta to visit the Mendenhall's for an evening and watched the Oscar's with them.

Kinda

I'm fasting television.

Instead, Bethany followed along on the computer. As the winner was announced, the site was updated, and the men (that's Eric and Me) were to postulate the winner, submitting an official selection the Misses of the Mendenhall's. Since I was a guest in their home, demanded fish, and refused to allow them the pleasure of watching the television...

I let Eric win.

I did! You can call me a liar, a fraud, a bullshitter of the highest order, but, alas, it is so. I know, Eric, it hurts. You thought you beat me. ME! He of the Greatest Ego! THE Cobra. Sorry, you did not. You were appeased.

Overall, 12 of my picks were good. I failed to give Memoirs of a Geisha their due respect and I paid for it. It didn't help when I tried to and John Williams got beat by gay cowboys (wtf). And you already know how I feel about pimps wit' dey "hoes on a tray." "Hoes" being a synonym for "Snow Bunny" which is a synonym for "White woman of ill repute."

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Toothpaste for Dinner



They've expanded. Check out Married to the Sea.

Monday, March 13, 2006

This Just In

It's just a slap on the wrist...

Poll Question: Should we censure the president?

Slobodan

13 Days Later

And that Spring Break post is coming.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

'Tis a Black Day

Man it seems like I'm duckin dodgin bullets everyday
Niggaz hatin on me cause I got, hoes on the tray
But I gotta stay paid, gotta stay above water
Couldn't keep up with my hoes, that's when shit got harder
North Memphis where I'm from, I'm 7th Street bound
Where niggaz all the time end up lost and never found
Man these girls think we prove thangs, leave a big head
They come hopin every night, they don't end up bein dead
Wait I got a snow bunny, and a black girl too
You pay the right price and they'll both do you
That's the way the game goes, gotta keep it strictly pimpin
Gotta have my hustle tight, makin change off these women, yeah


--From Academy Award Winning song for Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures (Original Song) "It's Hard Out There for a Pimp" by Djay featuring Shug.
This song beat Dolly Parton and an amazing compilation from Crash. Their acceptance speech follows:

"Oh, my. Hey, we want to thank Keith Young our choreographer. And the whole Sony Records, Lisa Ellis, our moms, our whole families. Thank you, Jesus. And for giving us a chance, the Academy. We love the Academy. You know what I'm saying? Gil Cates. Everybody. I got plenty of time. Ain't nobody else. I want to thank everybody. Yeah. Donnie Ienner. Once again our families. Ludacris. What's up? Going down. George Clooney, my favorite man, he showed me love when I first met him. We bringing the house. We out of here. Memphis, Tennessee!"

I'm road-trippin' through Spring Break so, when I get back to the Creek I'll let everyone know how I fared in overall Oscar picks as well as an overall Spring Break-down. Hope everyone enjoyed watching Oscar Night because I certainly did. Possibly, the best Oscar Night ever....

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

TricycleBlog

P.S. I found this Blog by happenstance and immediately found it worthy of my endorsement.

Who (k)News?

She says: Fox News is the only truthful news program out right now. At least they give you both sides of the argument and have intelligent people arguing like Bill O'Reilly and Hannity and Colmes.

I respond: I am going to say this once and I want you to listen. Fox News needs to take their cock out of the Bush Administrations asshole.

So for all you Fox News advocates, this post's for you.

Zogby Poll States:
72% of American troops serving in Iraq think the U.S. should exit the country within the next year.
90% of Reserves favor withdrawal
83% of the National Guard favor withdrawal
70% of the Army favor withdrawal
58% of the Marines do, too
Almost 75% of National Guard and Reserve units favor withdrawal within 6 months.

42% of active troops are confused about their mission in Iraq
85% stated they were there “to retaliate for Saddam's roll in the 9-11 attacks”
77% said “to stop Saddam from protecting Al Qaeda in Iraq”

93% recognize they are not there to remove Weapons of Mass Destruction.
76% do not believe that the United States is establishing a democracy that can be a model for the Arab world.
11% accept the rationale that securing oil was a major purpose for going to war

Source

"We're making progress of dismantling al Qaeda. Slowly but surely we're bringing the people to justice and the world is better for it...It's not a matter of if they're captured and brought to justice, it's when they're brought to justice." George W. Bush

Bush's Approval rating has "stabilized" at an amazing 40%!

General William Odom, a Retired General, Former national security adviser to President's Carter and Reagan describes the Iraq War as “the most strategic foreign policy disaster in U.S. history.”

Brent Scowcroft, President George H.W. Bush's national security adviser argued in 2002 before the decision to invade Iraq that: “An attack on Iraq at this time would seriously jeopardize, if not destroy, the global counterterrorist campaign we have undertaken.”

Zbigniew Brzezinski, national security adviser to President Carter, describes President George W. Bush's foreign policy as “suicidal statecraft” and writes “Flailing away with a stick at a hornets' nest while loudly proclaiming 'I will stay the course' is an exercise in catastrophic leadership.”

Source
(This guy wants to be a Senator?)

Bush Visits the World's Largest Democracy. Hint: It wasn't America.

Great Pictures

And don't forget that while Dubyah is frolicking about the Middle East, Katrina is getting better...j/k j/k...

I have to go now, but MAN! did that feel good.